The 10 Literal Worst BattleBots of All Time

by Dracophile
“If you have a thwackbot and it loses to another thwackbot then Bil Dwyer is allowed to come to your house and personally kick you in the dick. It’s in the BattleBots rules, I swear.”

An Autistic’s Guide to Scary TV Production Logos

by Roastmaster
“I don’t understand the irrational fear behind logos, but if you pointed to this thing and said ‘that, fucking that; I am scared shitless by that fucking mountain flying forward at me while the cut version of the goddamn Psycho strings play’ I would look at you, then at the flying mountain, then finally back at you and explain that I understand exactly where you’re coming from.”

The 7 Most One-sided Fights in BattleBots History

by Dracophile
“…Nightmare erased Slam Job from history. Had this fight not been videotaped nobody would even know the robot ever existed. Not even the driver.”

5 Reasons Why You SHOULDN’T Be Mad at Netflix

by Dracophile and Roastmaster
“The point is you can do so much more with a Netflix-enabled device anywhere in the whole entire world than you ever could by sitting in front of your ridiculous 3DTV watching Paula Deen shit butter into a Tupperware bowl.”

The 7 Most Retarded “Collectible” Coins Ever

by Dracophile
“My favorite part of this commercial isn’t the fact that they discovered 9 + 11 equals 20, but that it apparently took them seven years to figure this out.”

KILLER ROBOTS / RoboGames 2011 Commentary

by Dracophile
“Had this been BattleBots, Bil Dwyer would have said that within nanoseconds and then taken his shirt off and started screaming at his co-hosts.”

Weaponizers: A Failed Experiment in Special Effects

by Dracophile
“At this point I’d like to remind you not only did this actually air on national television, it was also touted as ‘real vehicular combat’. Look at it. LOOK AT IT.”

The 00’s: Worst. Decade. Ever.

by Dracophile
“2010 is important because it means that quite literally the worst decade in the history of decades, the aptly named “Double Zeroes” (because it fails twice as hard), is over.”

Afterlife TV

by Dracophile
“Ghost Hunters has such a knack for not delivering that even their crappy promotional desktop image has a Photoshopped ghost in it because to this day they haven’t captured a single apparition in any of their 105 episodes.”

The Best of BattleBots Update: Season Two

by Dracophile
“Ginsu was a box covered in saw blades that started to fall apart with chains and axles hanging out all over the place. What was the solution for this in season two? Add more saws, add more chains, and add more axles. “