The McDonald’s BattleBots Toys: Reviewed & Deconstructed

by Dracophile
“There is nothing about Mac Attack that I like. I get that it’s supposed to be a joke robot and it’s not to be taken seriously because it is literally a hamburger with saw blades and I accept that, what I’m more upset about is McDonald’s sticking their dick into a franchise’s toy line when they have no business acting as such.”

The 10 Literal Worst BattleBots of All Time

by Dracophile
“If you have a thwackbot and it loses to another thwackbot then Bil Dwyer is allowed to come to your house and personally kick you in the dick. It’s in the BattleBots rules, I swear.”

Twilight Foundry’s “Best Sonic Site Award – Great Job!”

by Dracophile and Lewis
“I guess in a sense it’s Foundry canon and there’s a story behind it just like every other bogus artifact from our bygone years. Since I am the only remaining member of Twilight Foundry’s original cast I guess the responsibility to tell this story falls upon me, right?”

All’s Quiet At Sunrise Mall

by Dracophile
“I’ll do my best to present this tour of a living-dead mall in a humorous light though it’s kind of hard to do so when you’re explaining how grand a place where you spent your childhood used to be.”

6 Awesome (and Extinct) Things from Public School

by Dracophile
“If your idea of ‘healthy’ is feeding money into a machine so you can stuff your face with ten bags of hot fries and make an edible Fleshlight out of chocolate donuts then that is your problem my friend, and I shouldn’t have to pay for your coronary nightmare.”

The 6 Most Valuable Games of All Time (Quantified By NBA Live ’95)

by Dracophile
“Just how many copies of this crappy basketball game would it take to equal the value of just one copy (and in many cases the only copy) of the most sought after games out there? Let’s find out.”

Nickellennium Retrospective: Dracophile’s Book of the Future

by Dracophile
“I bought a copy of this book secondhand and one of two things was going to happen, either it was going to be filled out by someone already and I could make fun of his (or her) thoughts on the future or it would be blank and I could scribble in some witty banter on my own time. Turns out both are true!”

7 Wacky Things People Sent Me Via MSN

by Dracophile
“It doesn’t matter what it is, the Internet — specifically the furry fandom — will find it, drawn porn of it, and then put it in a diaper and make it do a heel click.”

The Problem with Pokemon

by Dracophile
“Pokemon was a “big thing” in the late nineties and as you can imagine these Bible-thumpers were all over this opportunity to tell the world how Satanic and evil Pokemon were because church-going kids were yet again distracted from a boring as hell book.”

The 00’s: Worst. Decade. Ever.

by Dracophile
“2010 is important because it means that quite literally the worst decade in the history of decades, the aptly named “Double Zeroes” (because it fails twice as hard), is over.”