1 Reason Why Every Activision Employee Deserves to Die

by Dracophile
“I had an expression on my face somewhere between just having watched a box of puppies be fed into a wood chipper and sitting on the toilet after having eaten Taco Bell for lunch and the only sound that came out of my mouth was a stiff grunt that tapered off into a puberty-broken scream.”

7 Wacky Things People Sent Me Via MSN

by Dracophile
“It doesn’t matter what it is, the Internet — specifically the furry fandom — will find it, drawn porn of it, and then put it in a diaper and make it do a heel click.”

Christmas Extravaganza Spectacular 2009

by Dracophile
“I’m going to devote the rest of this entire article to Christmas memories of years past, stories of a less hectic and chaotic time when all you looked forward to was running to the living room and opening presents.”

DragonPlay: Vaporware Lifetime Achievement Award

by Dracophile
“DragonPlay, a game that can best be described as ‘a complete Club Penguin rip-off with dragons’ and worst described as ‘Yahtzee with letters on all the dice’, does not fall into the category of things that I find pleasing.”

Counterfeit Spyro the Dragon Posters

by Dracophile
“At that very moment in time I realized that this whole transaction was going to be some kind of trainwreck of bad and when those posters arrived it would be beneficial to my well-being to just mark that thing “RETURN TO SENDER” and get my money back.”