The “Guess the PBS Idea Channel Video” Game

by Roastmaster and Dracophile
“This whole mess started when Dracophile texted me three “titles” of videos from the PBS Idea Channel. He pointed out that two of them were fakes and only one of them was legitimate and my job was to guess which one was correct. Here’s the problem, every single video title sounded like a fucking joke.”

“Candy Blox” Candy Lego Review

by Dracophile
“I considered stepping on a Candy Blox to see if they match up to Lego bricks but by that point I realized this stupid gimmick had gone on long enough and I was ready to end this article and then write myself off to a future of eating these candies for the next fourteen years because they take almost literally forever to eat.”

The 10 Literal Worst BattleBots of All Time

by Dracophile
“If you have a thwackbot and it loses to another thwackbot then Bil Dwyer is allowed to come to your house and personally kick you in the dick. It’s in the BattleBots rules, I swear.”

The 144 Stupidest “New gTLD” Domains

by Roastmaster
“The issue here isn’t that these domains are stupid, it’s that whomever came up with this list of suggestions did not know when to stop and now there are literally almost one thousand of these terrible fucking ideas in the pipeline.”

The 8 Worst Pokemon Generation 1 Sprites

by Dracophile
“Fuck everything about Rattata.”

3 Gay-Unrelated Reasons I Hate Chick-Fil-A

by Dracophile
“They’re just silly uneducated livestock standing around making a lot of noise while attempting to avoid the inevitable fate that comes for all of us. Fuck, that statement was more of an analogy than I was intending.”

Energizing Energy Drinks: Redemption (Part 5)

by Dracophile
“Whatever mental image you have of a ‘gyrating grape’ keep it to yourself. This shit’s like 5 Gum, everyone experiences it differently but no one is happy with it.”

Excerpts From The Sharperer Image

by Dracophile
“Airport security isn’t the worst thing about flying, in fact walking past a row of apathetic and self-hating people of various heights and weights is almost like walking through a carnival house of mirrors in a sense. The worst thing about flying? Fucking SkyMall.”

Shame Is Plastic: 6 Gaming Peripherals of Dubious Quality (Uncut)

by Dracophile
“I honestly forgot how poorly the Mega CD handled video compression; it’s like I’m staring at an over-compressed GIF image of a shirtless Wahlberg rapping about Sunkist. I have a giant TV now, something I only dreamt of in the nineties, and good lord does this thing look atrocious on my television. It looks like someone added bacon bits to a lentil soup and dumped it on top of a Powerpoint presentation.”

The 6 Most Worthless University Classes I Took

by Dracophile
“Foreign language teachers are, in my experience, some of the best instructors you’ll ever have. They have such colorful personalities and they’re always energetic like they perpetually just snorted a line of coke, and I think it might be because every time you say something to them they mentally hear it twice, in two different languages, at the exact same time.”