20 Things You Didn’t Know About Dracophile

1: Draco is not as gay as Brokeback Mountain, Brokeback Mountain is as gay as Draco.

2: Draco FOUND OUT who’s naughty and nice.

3: Draco does not read his watch, he interrogates it.

4: Draco does not dial down the center.

5: When Draco walks into McDonalds… you had better have your fuckin’ smile on.

6: Draco knows what Willis was talking about.

7: Draco can see why kids like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

8: Draco knows how many bites it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

9: On every internet profile Draco has, he inserts the letter “D” under the Male or Female column. This is to signify that he fucks dragons.

10: Draco cuts his wrists and blacks his eyes.

11: Draco once shredded up a dead rat, mixed it with cat urine, and then patented it as a bottled beverage. Because of this patent it now costs the Kool Aid company 12 cents more per packet.

12: Draco always wins at rock paper scissors. Always.

13: Draco is 2 legit 2 quit.

14: Draco has never lost a fight, however, he has gotten the living shit beat out of him many times.

15: WW2 was actually settled by an international treaty that included a female citizen from the USA having to give birth to the most self-humiliating child in the universe so that the Nazi’s would have something better to hate. We know this child as Draco.

16: One plus one equals Draco.

17: Draco failed elementary school because his teachers did not believe in dragons.

18: Draco’s white blood cells can breathe fire.

19: Draco owes Jeopardy seven dollars.

20: Draco’s favorite movie is “Jurassex Park”