But What if I Had Sex with My Dog?


This is what abstinence leads to.

Have you even been to one of those assemblies at your school where they cram your head full of “don’t have sex or you’ll get the herpes” and other propaganda? I attended one today, same as the old ones. Pictures of “down there” from medical textbooks and what not, standard diagrams and lots of silly Powerpoint effects. After attending the speech I can safely say nothing is funnier than seeing a stock image of the “Parts of the Penis” spin into place.

I myself wasn’t being that much of a jerk here, my friends were but that’s just as good if not better! Our speaker said “What’s the only way to ensure 0% pregnancy?” The guy next to me couldn’t help but blurt out “PULL OUT!”. When it came time for STD’s someone I knew asked about “doing it in the butt”.

Well, our times of fun came to an end. Alas, the speaker passed out this survey which I took two copies of so I could scan it and remake it to post here for you. I filled it all out. I read it over a few times and decided bestiality would be a fun thing to put down on it. So… that’s exactly what I did. When I had told my friends who were sitting elsewhere about this, they were envious as they didn’t even come close.

Don’t get me wrong here, I am not desperate enough to pork a pooch, but I will take an opportunity to screw around with people most chances I get. I can’t wait for next year, maybe he’ll address zoophilia! After all, this is Texas you know. Yeehaw.

– Dracophile