1 Reason Why Every Activision Employee Deserves to Die

by Dracophile
“I had an expression on my face somewhere between just having watched a box of puppies be fed into a wood chipper and sitting on the toilet after having eaten Taco Bell for lunch and the only sound that came out of my mouth was a stiff grunt that tapered off into a puberty-broken scream.”

Nickellennium Retrospective: Dracophile’s Book of the Future

by Dracophile
“I bought a copy of this book secondhand and one of two things was going to happen, either it was going to be filled out by someone already and I could make fun of his (or her) thoughts on the future or it would be blank and I could scribble in some witty banter on my own time. Turns out both are true!”

Christmas Extravaganza Spectacular 2009

by Dracophile
“I’m going to devote the rest of this entire article to Christmas memories of years past, stories of a less hectic and chaotic time when all you looked forward to was running to the living room and opening presents.”

Counterfeit Spyro the Dragon Posters

by Dracophile
“At that very moment in time I realized that this whole transaction was going to be some kind of trainwreck of bad and when those posters arrived it would be beneficial to my well-being to just mark that thing “RETURN TO SENDER” and get my money back.”