Energizing Energy Drinks: Redemption (Part 5)

by Dracophile
“Whatever mental image you have of a ‘gyrating grape’ keep it to yourself. This shit’s like 5 Gum, everyone experiences it differently but no one is happy with it.”

Energizing Energy Drinks Part 4

by Dracophile
“…a quick browsing of the ingredients on the side of the can reveals pear, apple, pineapple, passion fruit, and mango. All of this, and of course the fact that there is only 10% juice, the other 90%, mind you, is bullshit.”

Energizing Energy Drinks Part 3

by Dracophile
“I am fairly certain that [Jump’s] can is attempting to use its artwork and one word title to instruct the dinosaurs on what they should have done when the meteor was coming.”

Energizing Energy Drinks Part 2

by Dracophile and FpS ref1ex
“Its insane self-promotion on the side of the can boasting coast-to-coast brand loyalty only adds to the mystery of why the hell I’ve never heard of this, nor have I seen it before. Probably because this is a bunch of bullshit and they made it up.”

Energizing Energy Drinks Part 1

by Dracophile and FpS ref1ex
“The second the can depressurized, I was discouraged from continuing this article.”