7 Wacky Things People Sent Me Via MSN
As I get fed up with this computer that I’ve been graced with I realize that it’s aging; I’ve had it since mid-2006 and included on its hard drive are backups of folders from as early as 2004. I’m running a system with seven years’ worth of stuff crammed into it and here I am complaining about how it doesn’t seem to be working as well as it used to. Go figure, right? I’ve had MSN Messenger for as long as I’ve had a computer because it’s my preferred method of being annoyed by people at all hours of the day. With the use of MSN Messenger you can send files to people and likewise let people send files to you, and in the past I’ve told stories about how people have accidentally sent me pornography instead of what they intended. I’ve had this computer since 2006 and not once have I cleaned out my “Received Files” folder so there’s about four years’ worth of random snippets and trinkets sitting in there… stewing.
When someone sends you a picture via Messenger it’s usually relevant to your conversation, for example “here’s a picture of my new car”. In four years I’ve been a part of many websites and communities and talked to hundreds of people most of whom who have sent me things via MSN Messenger. As years go by I lose contact with these people but the artifacts of our conversations remain on my computer either for eternity or until I delete them, and I’ve deleted nothing. Everything in that folder had some kind of context to it but as long as 4 years later I have since completely forgotten whatever in the hell it was in the first place. I decided that digging through my Received Files folder and finding my favorite bizarre pictures would be a fun way to waste an evening writing and wouldn’t you know — it was. Below are seven pictures that were sent to me from various people with whom I’ve talked to, their context is just as much of a mystery to you as it is to me.
This picture was sent to me by someone in 2006 right in the middle of RFSHQ.com’s lifespan (of me as the Lead Writer at least). It proves that even as far back as 2006 people were telling me I looked like Josh Peck, which is distressing. I seriously thought that gimmick started when I was contracted as an administrator for Miniclip but I guess I was mistaken. The “STARRING RFS AS HIMSELF” blurb next to Peck is pretty hilarious, though, I’ll admit. Over to the right is a still from the very first episode of The Radio F Show (Cereal Time) and underneath that is an MS Paint doodle of an animator named Vozz angrily looking over at Josh Peck, how he ended up in this image is beyond me because while I knew Vozz he wasn’t affiliated with RFSHQ at all from what I recall. This entire damn picture is a puzzle that I have no clue as to what the solution is.
My guess as to where it came from is a shot in the dark. I’m going to venture an educated guess and say that it was made as a joke entry to one of RFSHQ’s annual banner round-ups we did to collect site banners for our rotator script that cycled through user-made images on the homepage and other pages of the site. That’s about as close as I’m going to get, and come to think of it I wonder why we never just made this the permanent banner for the site in the first place.
This picture is the total opposite of the one above because I actually know who sent it to me and WHY but I don’t quite remember what is going on in the actual picture. The inebriated-looking fellow in the photograph is a friend of mine named Mark and he’s holding a Persian cat named Lillian. I have this picture of him because he doesn’t photograph well at all, it’s one of a few pictures I have of him (the rest being on Facebook). The filename is the reason why I chose this picture because it’s a double entendre; “Weed” is the nickname that is given to that cat specifically but you can’t help but wonder if Mark sampled the real thing with that crazy look he has. He can have a purposefully creepy smile and he takes awful candid shots — that’s Mark! Write your own story about this picture and you may come close to what’s actually going on in it because your guess is as good as mine. One thing is for certain though, Lillian looks like she wants to get away but is too disinterested to do so.
Normally with pictures I know who is in them or at the very least who sent them to me, this one is a mystery in both departments. I attributed the sender as a friend of mine who goes by the name Collision Cat only because A) this picture is of a school setting and everyone is wearing uniforms and B) Collision Cat went to said school. That’s my best guess but I don’t recognize anybody in the photograph and I know for a fact the guy in the middle isn’t CC. It’s a toss up as to why he sent me this, maybe it’s because the guy on the left looks like Alfonso Ribiero? Or maybe it’s because the guy on the right looks like Thom Yorke from Radiohead? If that’s the case how come he didn’t send me a picture where either of the two of them were the subject of the photograph? Who knows. Maybe Pasty Kenan Thompson there in the middle is saying something funny making Alfonso laugh and Thom knowingly snicker because Radiohead is fucking awesome? I wish I could tell you. Instead you can do like what you did with Mark’s picture and CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!
Finally here’s a picture that I know everything about! I know who’s in it, why she’s dressed funny, and where she’s at! The only problem is that unless she wore this outfit twice she had to travel back in time to send me this picture! This is a picture, presumably taken in 2007 (?) of GatorAIDS columnist Cosmic Audino. She’s dressed as Dr. Eggman because she’s at an anime convention and that was her cosplay! Is it cross-dressing? Hell if I know but it’s a damn good costume that’s for sure; I’m not here to debate gender-shifting because that’s what I did last article when I tore apart In Focus. This picture was taken at the Holiday Inn in Corpus Christi, TX. The reason why I think she traveled through time is because while I wasn’t there at the convention in 2007 I was there in 2008 and Cosmic was wearing this cosplay because I saw her there that year. I also saw her in 2009 but she wasn’t wearing it because she was performing. I don’t know how cosplays work and if you’re supposed to retire them or what but I think my time travel hypothesis is pretty awesome so I’m just going to stick with it.
The girl in the photo above (above this one, moron) took this picture of this… very peculiar looking guy while she was in Japan. This guy, who is making an IRL “:o” face has apparently been playing Pachinko for so long that he hasn’t eaten in weeks, you can tell from the sunken cheeks. On the bright side though he’s got about twenty neon boxes full of Pachinko balls; I don’t know what one does with so many little metal balls but if he’s into airsoft I’m pretty certain he’s set for ammo for a long time or if his house is suddenly burglarized by a couple of kooky crooks he could dump the balls all over the floor and watch them slide around. Additionally he could pair the trap up with Christmas ornaments and throw paint cans down the stairs for added effect and Home Alone relevance.
Cosmic claims she went to Japan and took this picture but frankly I’m not a believer. Where’s the giant robots? Where’s the scantly clad schoolgirls? And most importantly where are the tentacle demons raping the aforementioned schoolgirls? Hmm? That’s what I thought. This isn’t Japan at all. LIAR.
In the wide spectrum of things I really can’t believe how long ago this picture was taken, time flies. Rather than observe the Sonic plushies in the picture I defaulted to Steel Pinata’s laptop over to the side. He still has that thing, holy shit that thing is old! Going back to the focus of the photograph he took this picture when he traveled to Maryland (the state not the magical world full of lambs) and sent it both to me and… well, the girl two pictures above who took the picture of the Pachinko guy. Come to think of it Cosmic is inadvertently the subject to some extent in like half of the pictures in this article, whoops. Anyway Steel Pinata presumably played Ski-Ball a hundred times to bring us both these home. Eagle-eyed viewers may notice that the Amy Rose doll ended up in my possession because it turned up in an album cover of mine seen here.
The Tails doll (no, not the creepy Tails Doll) ended up in Cosmic’s possession and the reason it has tape on its head is quite simple. Back in middle school (ie: like a decade ago) she had a knack for doodling her friends as little anthropomorphized characters. If you must know, I was a sledgehammer-wielding robot fox. Don’t ask. For some reason she drew Steel Pinata with tape stuck in his hair and if she had sent me that picture via MSN I’d likely plaster it up here as well. Instead you can just picture Tails… with tape in his hair.
You ever wonder why we can’t have nice things? This picture is why we can’t have nice things. It doesn’t matter what it is, the Internet — specifically the furry fandom — will find it, drawn porn of it, and then put it in a diaper and make it do a heel click. This was sent to me without any context whatsoever by the same fellow who sent me the picture of the students further up in this article, Collision Cat. From his username alone you can conclude that he’s a furry and over the past few years he’s sent me ironic porn of literally everything (some of which I considered putting into this article but opted otherwise). But then he sent me this. I remember what he said when he sent me this too, he said “here, check this out” and sent me that picture. Nothing more, nothing less. I opened the file he sent me and my heart sank.
“I hate you for this,” I said. “I hate you a lot.”