What I am about to tell you is 100% true, only the facts have been modified. Our city is currently experiencing and epidemic known as Tetanus. But it is ok; the disease is treatable, sometimes, unless your son or daughter is a negro. It takes 2-14 days for this disease to fuck you up after you have been infected. Believe me; you do not want to get infected. I promise you this disease you will fuck you up harder than a big black man in a 10 x 6 prison cell. Symptoms can include thoughts of terrorism, homosexuality, listening to country music, and willingness to vote Hillary Clinton for President. If you experience an erection lasting longer than 5 days, seek immediate medical help. In severe cases, Tetanus can make patients experience puberty again. The first sign you have Tetanus is usually when you start paying attention to pop-up ads, weight loss commercials, or even unleashing your inner Chinese by wanting to eat domestic animals.
Recently, there have been no reported cases of Tetanus in the United States; the disease is most commonly seen in gay communities, Asian countries, and Tetanusinmyfacejikstan. The source of our outbreak is not currently known, our scientists currently believe it came from the Jews or some Muslim terrorists.
If your child is suffering from these symptoms please either shoot their ass or treat them already. If you were too stupid to not give them the vaccine as a baby, then you will be stuck with using the “Anal Probe” treatment. If you are not mentally retarded like many other parents, please keep reading on how to treat your child. For starters, your child needs to be confined in an airtight room as seen in the movies, as long as you don’t fuck up and pull off your helmet like Cuba Gooding Jr in the movie OutBreak, this option is completely safe for you. Our doctors read somewhere on Wikipedia that you need to eat about 4,000 calories, so 1 McDonalds Cheeseburger a day should do until completely cured. Also try showing your infected children porn, if they react normally, then they can survive in our high school and can be released.
NOTE: If you have received this letter on accident because you are not 100% white or Christian, please call us at 1-800-FUCK-YOU. And remember, don’t try to cure this on your own, its damn near impossible, as quoted by MC Tetanus, “Cant Touch This, do doo do doo”
That concludes our letter, Peace out Crackers.