Williams Dead End

Adult Swim on Cartoon Network was my nightly routine back when it originated earlier this decade. Of course, this was back when Williams Street was named Ghost Planet Industries and the only thing they were making was a great gem called Space Ghost Coast To Coast that ruled television more than any other show to date.

Then out of nowhere Ghost Planet Industries decided Space Ghost wasn’t good enough anymore so they made a new show called Aqua Teen Hunger Force under the alias Williams Street. Same logo and everything, just a new name. Well guess what, Aqua Teen Hunger Force was pretty cool; then they made another show called Sealab 2021 and that one was alright too.

Somewhere along the line all hell broke loose and Williams Street began shitting babies out faster than third world countries. Adult Swim soon filled their line up with a bunch of crap by Williams Street and imported anime. Williams Street and the thousands of animes that look exactly the same killed Adult Swim.

 

Sealab 2021

Sealab 2021 was a great show. It should have ended when voice actor Harry Voz (Captain Murphy) died. Murphy made the entire show worth watching because he was a total idiot and it was hilarious. His voice had the “personality” to match his actions and thoughts as well; it was a perfect combo. When Voz kicked the bucket they needed to end the series because throwing in a certain “Tornado Shanks” and trying to carry the series along ruined it. You had about 5,000 other shows to experiment with and you ruin one of the only good ones.

 

Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law

To date, I have never watched an episode of this show from start to finish. I can’t. It sucks that bad, that it doesn’t hold my attention, or there is something else better on at the time. Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law can best be described as a random collection of old Hanna Barbera characters and sex jokes. It’s like South Park, only a lot less funny, no plot, lame jokes, and premade overused characters. It’s a nice idea, just poorly executed.

 

12 Ounce Mouse

I saw the opening for this show and thought it might be interesting to say the least. I later saw a couple of episodes of it and came to the conclusion this is one of the worst attempts to fill television space since American Gladiators. You may as well air a 5 hour long infomercial for Tony Little’s Gazelle. At least that crazy nut makes more sense than this show. 12 Ounce Mouse, if it were a Flash animation, would be voted off of Newgrounds in a heartbeat (and then later stolen by eBaum’s World). Unfortunately, Adult Swim has a seething cult-like fanbase who will instantly eat up any turds that Williams Street shits out, and this is a perfect example.

 

Perfect Hair Forever

Williams Street claims Perfect Hair Forever is “a parody of anime”. Actually that just means you’re an American company contributing to the trash Japan keeps sending us. We don’t need anymore anime. Ever. From anywhere. We have enough to keep the little fanboys and fangirls busy for a long time. When the get tired of cosplaying Naruto or whatever they can move along to whatever is the next big Internet meme. Perfect Hair Forever is just like 12 Ounce Mouse, only the art doesn’t suck as bad. However, all they do here is just rely on anime humor which is as low as you can possibly go on the “funny” scale. Williams Street can call Perfect Hair Forever whatever they want to, I will just call it trash.

 

The Squidbillies

I remember a long time ago before Adult Swim went down the shitter they kept advertising and showing clips and bits from this and saying “Yeah we’re working on it”. Maybe you should have stopped working on it because the finished product can only be described as a total abomination and a hopper for your overused and unfunny crap, not to mention the art itself looks like a shitty repeat of 12 Ounce Mouse.

 

Adult Swim was great until Ghost Planet Industries started shooting up heroin, changed their name to Williams Street, and then began having unprotected sex with other studios to produce the shows they air now. Adult Swim was fine with its whimsical approach and swimming pool themed bumpers until they let Williams Street out of its basement.

But that’s television for you.

– Dracophile